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Pimper N'est Pas Facile

The 5 Pimpingest Historical Figures.

I can understand Ramses beating out Napoleon, but Thomas Jefferson? Non, non, non... Clothing and certain gilded embellishments to one's interior designs are all well and good, but attitude must count for something. Jefferson would never pull the crown out of someone's hands and proclaim himself head pimp emperor, for starters. Not without first writing a seven-page dissertation on the historical and political imperatives morally justifying his actions. And by 'actions' I mean 'tea parties.'

(Actually, pimping never looked that difficult to me. I can remember lying in bed at night when hiding out in my favorite brothel in Paris and thinking that if they just rescheduled their business hours and perhaps gave the salon a more unique and cohesive environment instead of just making it a waiting room that looked liked it raided the Moulin Rouge's garage sale...

This is one of those times where I'm making people anxious, isn't it? Pardonnez-moi, it's just the natural administrator in me. ;-)

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
ac_princeps
Dec. 12th, 2007 08:33 am (UTC)
Aren't pimps usually seen as more cowardly, grasping types? Greedy and weak, that's your typical leno.
eleonoreduplay
Dec. 13th, 2007 04:07 pm (UTC)
As much as I hate agreeing with emperors, I'm going to have to second Augustus here: this seems rather like one of those contests one wouldn't want to win. It's a pity, too, about Bonaparte. Maximilien's brother knew him--they met when Augustin was en mission in Toulon--and he said he seemed like a nice, competent, republican officer. Little did he know... *sighs*
h_l_mencken
Dec. 14th, 2007 08:37 am (UTC)
It is not meant to be taken even remotely seriously. These descriptions blend fact and fiction, and it is purely for amusement. Regardless of how one defines "pimp" (or this neologism "pimpingest"), the piece was at times somewhat amusing.

I personally enjoyed 9 Most Badass Bible Verses myself.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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