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Introduction

(A new figure has appeared in the café: a small man in brown and green robes, drinking wine.)

I am Liutprand of Cremona, a priest of the Lombard race. In my time I was a chancellor, deacon, bishop of the holy church of Cremona, and thrice ambassador to the Greek emperor's court at Constantinople. You would not believe, O company, the injustices to which the lying, cowardly, effeminate Greeks subjected me and my party! O the tales I could tell you! O the misery I felt at the failure of my mission! And as long as anyone keeps reading my books, I will never, ever get over it.

Tell me about yourselves, my fellows so that I can talk more about myself and my most august emperor, Otto.

Comments

jean_moulin
May. 26th, 2008 01:42 am (UTC)
Bienvenue!

I am... Too private and too amused by the fights that erupt between historians over the end of that sentence to ever answer it definitively.

Suffice to say, I was French during a very dark hour in our history, I loved my country a great deal, and it was my privilege to do some small measure of service on her behalf, and on behalf of Gen. De Gualle (who still owes me money on the over/under of the date I'd be betrayed, so if you see the bugger Le Symbol in here, tell him he can't leave without paying. Someone has to keep the backroom stocked around here).

I'm sorry to hear the Greek's subjected your party to injustice. Did they arrive too early or just bring Argentianian wine?
liutprand
Jun. 13th, 2008 11:23 pm (UTC)
Nay sir! Far from being chased with silver (argent), the Greeks mix their wine with resin, pitch, and plaster!

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We may be dead, but we're still pretty.
Wikipedia: History is our anti-drug.

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